Yesterday our baby boy turned 2 weeks old. The past two weeks have gone by so fast, everything is a blur. (Probably due to sleep deprivation!) His birth seems like it was just yesterday, but also forever ago.
When I was pregnant with G, I had an idea of how I wanted his birth to go. I wanted it to be as natural as possible, with little medical intervention. However, the closer I got to my due date the more my ideas about the whole process changed. I was very anxious about his birth and how it would line up with J*'s school break. Although we are here for a longer period of time (it's been over a year already!) J* is not able to take any leave (including paternity) because he is still in training status. I wanted J* and G to have as much bonding time as possible, and J* had a 10 day class break right when I was supposed to be due. My anxiousness and end of pregnancy irritability got the best of me, and we scheduled an induction for the 24th, three days before I was due. I knew inducing would most likely mean a more difficult labor, but at that point I really didn't care.
The week leading up to the induction I tried everything out there to get labor going. I had been having lots of signs and false labor and was convinced something had to work. We went on walks, I took castor oil, I bounced on the ball, I ate numerous "labor inducing" foods. Nothing.
On the morning of the 24th, I called into the hospital to hear if we were going in that day. Although I was on the schedule the hospital policy is that healthy, non emergency inductions are subject to change due to available space, emergency c-sections and inductions. I held my breath as I was put on hold. They told me to call back at 10am. No big deal, I told myself.
At 9:30, the hospital called to say they were sorry but would not be able to get me in that day. I was crushed. The hospital was in overflow status and they had beds set up in the hallway in case anyone went into labor that day. However, they wanted me to come in for a non-stress test at 11am to make sure everything was going ok. A little weird since I was still not overdue, but whatever.
We got to the hospital, they hooked me up and monitored G for a good hour because my blood pressure was slightly elevated when we got there. Once they were satisfied that everything was fine and after getting a lecture from a nurse that now was a time to relax not be running around doing last minute things (yeah right lady, I am trying to have a baby here!) they sent me home with a new induction date for Monday - four days from then!!! Panic. Why did I have to wait until Monday?!? My Dr. was not on call that weekend, and did not want me giving birth without him there. Thanks Doc, for telling me that last week when I saw you!
As we headed home for lunch I got a call from my Dr's office. Somehow my Dr had been able to bump me to the top of the list for the next open bed and there was a possibility I would be getting a call from the hospital between 3 and 5pm. Our hopes soared once again that we would have our baby boy in our arms soon!
We impatiently awaited that phone call by showing J*'s mom around downtown Pacific Grove so we could be close to the hospital if they called. By 4:30 I knew they wouldn't be calling and we headed home. We were all beat from the emotional up's and down's of the day.
As I got ready for bed that night (an early 8:30pm) the hospital finally called to tell me they couldn't get me in. I just laughed, it was pretty obvious at that point! The nurse apologized they didn't call earlier, but they had just been so busy no one had had the opportunity. She told me to call back on Monday morning as I had been instructed or if something should happen over the weekend.
I remember crying as I got in bed that night out of frustration. Frustration of things not working out the way I had planned for it to, and frustration that I pushed so hard to make something happen that is clearly not in my hands.
Even with all my best intentions to give my husband more time to bond with his son, I was not in charge. God was and I needed to remember that even though I didn't want to hear it from anyone. As I prayed that night, I apologized and asked that G would come that weekend on his own. I had been asking that G would come on his own before the induction all along, but this was my last chance! Eventually it had to happen, right??
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Read Part Two!
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