Purposeful steps

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”

Ephesians 5:15-17

I don't often think about what the Lord is calling me to do. But sometimes, it is brought to my attention loud and clear and I can't help but think about it!

Starting this internship for my last semester of my undergraduate degree has been difficult for me. It's not that I don't love learning new things, or that I dislike working outside my home. Actually, I love learning new things and have found my work so far to be interesting. I have always felt a sense of accomplishment with working outside my home, that I am doing something that helps others (my jobs usually have to do with helping others). 

The part that is most difficult for me is I do not feel like I am able to do my very best at caring for my husband and our home. I think this feeling is especially present now, while I am carrying this child. During the past months that I have not worked, I have learned to really love making my house a home. I enjoy cooking our meals, cleaning our house, and running our household. God has taught me that I do not have to work outside my home in order to do something valuable. And, although it is just the two of us right now, I think this has been a good lesson for me in order to prepare for this new little one. 

Although I have learned that working inside the home is a valuable job, I know that right now this is what I am supposed to be doing. First and foremost God asked me to go to college. This was something he asked of me about 6 years ago now, and I have always believed that if he asks you to do something, he intends for you to finish it. I am in the last stretch of finishing the task he has asked me to do.

That's where the verse above comes in. I have a lot on my plate right now. I am working 20 hours a week at my internship, have homework for 3 classes, have responsibilities at home, and am carrying a child.

I am tired.

However, I know that if I press on and look to the Lord for help through these next few months I will make it. I know he will provide for my needs so that I can finish the task he has asked me to do.